With Freshers Week drawing ever closer, the preparation should soon begin. Whether you are going into your first year or returning for your final, fail to prepare for this historic week at your peril.
1. Facebook stalk your new housemates
It doesn't make you a psycho, you are just 'researching for conversation topics'.
NOTE: This is especially important if you are going into shared Uni accommodation. Recognise early who the food thief is going to be. Don't let them near your cupboard.
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2. Begin Beer-Bong construction
Only an amateur makes their funnel at the last minute. Only a fool makes a beer bong that has one tube. Introducing 'multi-tube'! Welcome to the 21st century, Grandad. This video is a good place to start.
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3. Stock up on fancy dress outfits
Do your research on what the freshers themes are and get the most awesome outfit possible. It seems to be the trend to wear as little as possible, which brings us on to point 4.... graduate jobs
4. Get in shape (for mind and body)
Fancy dress themes often require, or at least suggest, that minimal clothing should be worn. It's always good to trim those summer pounds off before you have to dress up in something revealing.
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5. Get in shape (for your liver)
In complete contrast to the previous advice, your body will need some warm up alcohol in the build up to Freshers Week. We've all seen that first-year fresher, from a quiet country village, who hasn't ever really gone clubbing before.....
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If you take our advice seriously and get your preparation in, then Freshers 2013 will be a MONSTER!